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If in a basis of family happiness you put such attitudes, as mutual understanding, deep respect for interests and private world of each other, pure and unselfish love, etc. but more likely it is very rare exception.
If any of you think, "I can't stand him/her".Then, probably, it is really necessary to run up, because of feeling of hatred. And if one of you began to live a double life, but thus appreciates family as such then the other one maybe should also accept the same rules of the game. In fact love - it is just feelings. It does not assume the responsibility. And the child, the common life and any family purposes it is just rational relations and the responsibility of two people which are in a marriage. Such approach is clear for me and I accept it.
The despot is a hard word. Basically I do not accept such attitudes. Though I understand despotism, as aspiration to suppress one person by another on the basis of humiliations and suppression him as person.
I know the love exists, and tenderness, and care about each other. If you want it will be. The main thing is to define, what would you like. If you would like to suffer - please do it, if to love - then love, if to have family - then have it. Only even loving, do not lose a head and sober mind.
Be prudent. If your family will be on the verge of disorder, do not give will to your emotions, but soberly count, how you will build your life further.
P.S... And you should love and protect the angels, and should not hurt them in any way.
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