Me, My life, My personality

My First LoVe.
Ohh my first love.. huh..
It was something unsual i havent felt this feeling after.. i guess i havent met my only one..
It was about 4 years ago maybe 5..
My loved one was older then me about for 10 years.. he was my brothers and sister's best friend.. First in the beggining of our friendship he was like a brother to me.. i guess becasue when we first met i was a child.. a small girl that didnt care about such stuff as boys.. but after a few years i started to look at him in another way.. i started to think about him more often then usual.. then i couldn't stop i started calling him all the time.. and i was sure that he understand's about my feeling but i couldnt do anything with myself.. every night i thought only about him.. every morning when i woke up i thought about him.. every second in school i thought about him.. during the lessons i didnt look at the board i didnt hear the teacher's i only heard my thought, i dreamed awake.. I dreamed about our future, i even thought about moment's when he could have been my husband, the father of my children.. I did so many foolish things for him but he tried to make me understand that i'm only like a sister for him.. that i take a part of his heart but a part that is left for relatives very close relatives... I didnt know what to do, how to solve this problem, how to make him fall in love.. I started to become very sentimental and at moments very strange but it was all because of love , because of unrequited love.. ughh that feeling, those moment's were killing me..
All my friends, sisters, cousins told me STOP, forget about him, he dosen't diserve you he is not your only one, he's ugly and he's that and stuff.. but i didnt understand i didnt care about his appereance, i didnt care about his financial status.. i didnt care about these stuff they didnt worry me.. I only cared about him..my only, my love, my guy.. "my guy"-huh.. he was never only my guy.. never.. when i heard womens voices i started to get angry but at the same moment i reminded my self stop! stop! he's not your boyfriend , no stop.. stop lying to yourself but i couldn't.. all this lasted for about 2 years.. 2 years when i forgot about my personal life, no guy didnt interest me at all.. i only thought about him, but he had another.. people say time cures and they are right.. time cured me .. almost.. when i see him know a days i feel some kind of formication.. so to conclude i want to tell your girls and boys.. i know that it happens in all of our lives no matter how old are we and all such matters but we have to remember one thing that we cant change someone's feeling about us we can only change our feeling for him.. and when we understand that we wont make a difference in their life's we have to stop our self and make ourself understand what we need in life and WHO we need..