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Recently I met ex boyfriend - we were together 1,5 years. Started talking about cheating: he told, that stably and regularly cheated to his girlfriend, and asked, if I cheat my boyfriend … I simply smiled without replying. And he said: « I know, you are cheating, you will always cheat, and you are not guilty, such is our life »
And I reflected, really, why am I always cheating.
When I was a little girl and looked at the whole world in pink tones, I thought, I certainly would have a husband and only such who I imagined also we should love each other madly, we should not think of cheating, then we would born children and we should die in one day. And here how it actually is.
I was 15, my first boyfriend was 10 years elder. There was only Platonic love with him, therefore I did not think about any cheating at all.
The second. The guy of my age, we were 17 - such children's love. I was his first girlfriend … everything was wonderful and romantic … until I began to doubt of him … he told me, that he had cheated to me and he was tormented with remorse … the first idea TREACHERY, the PAIN, INSULT, THIRST of REVENGE … I could leave him, but I would like him to feel this pain … and I knew, that one day it would be … half-year passed …
Once his friend went to take me home - I invited him to enter … he stayed for the whole night. There was no remorse, only recollected that our conversation about his cheat. In the morning we understood, that we did not want to leave. That I was cheating him, he found out from some friends, he asked his friend « Were you kissing? » his friend answered « And not only ». He found me at my friend … tears … I shouted, what a bitch am I and how he hated me, I simply listened, said goodbye and closed the door. Farewell.
The third. The friend of the second - became my third. Again everything is wonderful, quiet, etc, but once he left for a month, I waited very much for his returning … waited until there was yet one dialogue. I and our the common friend talked about cheating and I told, that I was sure in my third boyfriend and confident, that he did not cheat me. But he answered, that I couldn’t be sure on 100 % in it and let know, that he knew that at least once my boyfriend precisely cheated to me. And there is pain again. I smoke nervously, and he notices, that my hand trembled … I do not know, how I kept in my emotions … in several days I cheat him … when he returned, he found out about it … tried to convince me, that I loved him, and my cheat is just my mistake.
Told me about his cheat, asserted, that we should forget all and all will be good but how to forget treachery. I just said, farewell and left. … his tear? begging but it did not touch me any more. He hurt me. The pink fog gradually began to flutter, these two times were enough for me to understand, that cheatings would be always.
The fourth. Loved him, as well as the others – cheated him - seldom, but cheated. I was away for three weeks, called him, his granny said me … « Kate? He is away dear, he is ….. »
Perfectly, Kate! It means I did everything right, it was not so hurt and was not insulting any more… On a question who is Kate - answered “sister”. The sister so the sister – it is not important any more. Left.
My actual boyfriend … why I am cheating you because I do not believe you, as well as other … repeatedly I caught you on lies, maybe harmless, but it was lie … I do not believe you … and when I am asked whether you are cheating me or not … I frankly answer, that it is all the same for me – it is not important – if you are - I shall not be surprised, if you are not - in vain, because I am CHEATING YOU
The woman cheats - the woman revenges?
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