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I have been thinking a lot of marriage, family and settling down these days. I think about my mom who has been with the same man for 33 years, though they never legally married. One day they sat alone, exchanged vows to one another -- hand on the bible, in the presence of no one but God -- and they have been together ever since. Of course, they've had their share of problems, but that's what relationships are --WORK. And if you happen to find someone who understands you and whom you connect with on a more spiritual, higher plane then you'll hopefully grow together and transcend some of the issues many simply remain stuck in. However, regardless of whether you're married or in a deeply committed relationship BOTH parties have to work to make it last.
I think about other people I know who have spent thousands on lavish weddings only to be married 5 years or less. Some of them lived together first, others dated for years and finally decided "it was time." I've seen some of these same individuals looking for the emergency exit early on and maybe if they hadn't gotten married or had kids, the relationship would have ended sooner. Is getting legally married really about having that security in case something goes wrong? Is it just a business contract governed by societal standards and norms? What is the real benefit to being married vs. being in a committed relationship with someone you love (besides finances)? Where does all the love go when people get married, have kids, buy a house, etc and later find themselves living a mundane existence of paying bills, changing diapers, and why didn't you take out the trash, kinds of arguments?
If you knew you were going to divorce the person you loved deeply within 5 years of your marriage, would you go ahead with your plans anyway? Or would you choose to enjoy the love -- knowing there would be pain, trials and tribulation -- however long it lasted?
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