This is what your ladylove might mean when she says, "You don't need me." Might be useful to straight guys...
She says: "You don't need me." and smiles coldly.
She is thinking: I don't need you. You spend too much time with your guy pals and pornography and video games. You don't give me enough attention and/or money. You have repulsive habits. It's you, not me. I'm leaving you. It's over. Go drink with your guy pals. Don't embarrass yourself by being difficult. What? I might be wrong, but I don't care. Honey, all you've given me is a convenient excuse to spew clich?s. Sure, I love you, but we aren't right for each other. I'm too good for you. BYE!
What he should do: Go drinking (and bitching about the newly-acquired Ex) with guy pals.
She says: "You don't need me!?" and proceeds to break something.
She is thinking: You bastard. I don't know why I bother participating in procreation with your shrivelled up scrawny curl of an excuse for a dick. This is your cue to beg me for forgiveness. Not begging me? Well guess what, I DON'T NEED YOU EITHER! You better placate me before all my girlfriends hate you. Damn you, stop being a difficult idiot and bribe me with diamonds and kisses. BRIBE ME!
What he should do: Apologise and mention specifically where he went wrong. AVOID half-hearted apologies. When she breaks something it's time to end either the relationship or the argument before the destruction reaches his equipment. *cough* Bye Father's Day... *cough*
She says: "You don't need me?" and cries.
She is thinking: I can't believe you just hurt me that way. Tell me if I'm important to you and tell me how significant I am to you because I am feeling insecure. I'm your SIGNIFICANT other, aren't I? Please reassure me. If you don't, our conversation will degenerate into a meaningless exchange of spiteful words in which I will be a clingy bitch who makes you out to be an unfeeling significant other. (P.S. If you get me diamonds or chocolate or flowers and an apology I promise you our making out tonight will be worth it.)
What he should do: Say, "Of course you're important to me. I love you. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't love you." Regardless of level of intelligence, this slips a female's mind rather frequently. Girls might stay in a relationship out of responsibility so she forgets that a guy, unlike her, only maintains one because he's into her figuratively or wants to get into her physically.
She says: "You don't need me!" followed by "I'm so proud of you!" and a hug/kiss.
She is thinking: Who are we kidding? I'm just waiting for you to admit that you wouldn't have been the person you are without me by your side. I am so proud of your success darling. While we're on the topic, the diamond on my finger is feeling lonely. You love me, don't you? Oh and my girlfriends told me that all their boyfriends got them [insert anything expensive here]. I wish I had all that too... *lovesick sigh* Also, have you noticed that my wardrobe is in need of fattening? I love you baby, but I am going to be a manipulative bitch and withhold sex until you convince me that your achievement hasn't changed the fact that I am still your favourite trophy.
What he should do: Say, "Of course I need you darling." and give her a kiss. He might just be able to dodge the shopping list.
Guys, remember that it's not only what she says but also how she says it that matters. Under NO circumstance should you venture to tell her you don't need her. She interprets it as rejection. Of course, if she isn't important to you, why bother?
Girls, remember that your guy is either struggling with comprehending your extensive vocabulary or is struggling with his sexual orientation. So cut him a little slack. Not all guys are aware that "Isn't she hot?" actually means, "I'm feeling threatened by her sexy presence. Could you reassure me by pretending to be consumed by self-delusion please? Say I'm hotter. SAY I'M HOTTER!"
