Why Not "Just Be Yourself"

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you want to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see or hear, about how to achieve a success with girls... is JUST BE YOURSELF.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on) is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how dating, and relationships work.

It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't think of anything else to say... but doesn't want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.
As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug.

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.

What about that?

At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer - "You just have to be patient and eventually you'll meet someone who's right for you."

Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."

Be yourself. Patience. Faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.

I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous!!