no name

One day I heard that a new guy moved to our 10 stored building.I lived on the 8-th floor.I was wondering who is he???The stranger from the 10-th floor....
I met him,we talked,but we weren't alone,there were other people...
After that he followed me everywhere.I knew that he likes me....we were together all time...every day...
There were nothing special in his appearance.My friends asked me how could I love him.They told me every time that he looked terrible.I didn't notice ...he was the best for me...even if he wasn't handsome.I loved him the way he was...
He was like you know "a cool guy"who always tries to be independent,has his own point of view,very self confident(I can say too much),always looks good,nice clothes,cologne...I still remember that scent...it follows me everywhere...
Every small thing in his life was a part of me.It seemed to me that we were created for each other.He was like a brother for me,part of my family...I could say that "I was him"...
but probably he didn't felt the same...for me...
My parents got divorced after his...and it made me even closer to him..Every day I've spent with him was happiness for me.I didn't want anything else except just being by his side,hear his voice,look in to his eyes,enjoy his smile..when he laughed I felt his power...his power against me...
A lot of girls liked him....no one knows why...maybe because of the way he held himself among people..he was always smart,witty.
We were dating like 3 times.There were a lot of things:pain,betrays,happiness of just seeing him,revenges,hate,tears...,depressions that lasted for weeks.
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Every holiday I sent him greeting cards..I just put them in his mailbox with hope in my heart that he'll call me to say thank you...and every year...the same-no calls.
The worsest thing was to see him every day when I went to school...going down in the elevator together and he even didn't say "hi"...just was standing with this independent and humiliating look...I wished him to leave,to move somewhere,not to see him and not to suffer any more...forget him,throw out of my thoughts and my soul....it was one sided love and only I wanted to struggle for it....Sometimes I think that my love was so strong that it could be enough for both but he didn't want it....
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Summer came...another summer without him...
I still have this picture in my mind:I'm going out on the street and see different furniture near the house...somebody's moving....and some minutes later I see his mom and her new husband,they are packing all that different stuff.....he and his family moving to Russia...
Tears on my face,they are pouring from my eyes like the rain from the crying sky....it's so stuffy that I can't breath,I can't scream,I can't run...I'm just standing in the middle of the street realizing that there will be no hope ...no more...I wanted him to disappear from my life but it was just in the moments of despair....
I wanted to see him for the last time...I will never forget that farewell card with teddy bears and words of love and the same look that makes you miserable....
When I moved to America I sent him a couple of letters and received replies but it was just another way to remember that we are too different..I always thought that there's another person inside of him ,that he just doesn't want to show the real him to others,not to be weak...
I tried to find the key to door of his heart,of real him...but there were no other person...
I was too blind with love to see it...he was selfish and mean person... but I was happy even getting pain and being hurt..because it was him...,because I didn't see....
He told me once that I was the only girl whom he was dating for so long...I know that he was attached to me...deeply in his heart he was and he was afraid of that feeling....feeling of being dependent on somebody....
We'll never be together...but I'll remember him because he was never mine and he's already forgot me because I was always his...
Will fate give me one more chance to see him again...to give him understand that everything changed ...Just to look in his eyes with all my independence and contempt....and then move in the next summer without him...Without regret....
P.S:When I wrote this it was 2.28 at night.Maroon five was on the radio singing that "she will be loved".........maybe......some day...